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raimi8mm
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| Why do I hate him? ... Cuz, he hurt me?
Why am I feeling so malicious?... Because u hate him...
I feel funny, the connection has been severed COMPLETELY, I don't know if I want it this way, why did this have to happen? Why do I still feel like I want to see him, I still feel that EVEN tho, things would never work I want to see him and have another physical relationship with him, No, this can NEVER happen. I just actually wish I had never met him. Or better yet, have him never had been born. His mother is a cunt, I wish I could have been a doctor, back in 1980 specifically, I would have practiced in Phillips, WI and I would have really pushed and convinced Terry to abort her first child, Nate as we all would come to know and NOT love him as. After her abortion, I would have strongly convinced her she be sterilized... This would have really altered my course of things... thats fuckng right, I wouldn't have had to deal with this heartache and there would be one less douche bag alcoholic asshole. I would have sat her down, six months into her pregnancy and said listen, your son is going to grow up to be an alcoholic womanizing fool, not to mention a genuine asshole ontop of that... and it will have been primarily because of YOU. Kinda like a Minority Report type thing, then I would have told her this... if there is ONE thing a mother should always teach her son, it is how to respect women, you won't do this Teresa, its not in the cards, you're 18 years old and very stupid; so I'm afraid your only option is to have an abortion. I realize you are six months along in your pregnancy, and a partial birth abortion is the only route, the scissors jammed into little Nathans neck will be very painful for him, but he will be dead shortly there after and won't remember. Teresa you also need to know that I am not a woman of faith, but if you really, and I mean really need me to put this into a sort of pseudo-Christian context, all I can say is that Nate's dammed little soul will be sent back to the pit that Satan shits and pisses into. I would imagine by this point Terry would be in tears or very irate with Doc G, pleading with me that she not have to do this, I would proceed to tell her this... Terry, listen, stop crying, you look stupid; I realize you are going to be hurting and feeling a lot of guilt for a VERY long time, but you will be doing many women a favor, my future self to be VERY specific. I'm also not sorry about telling you all of this what so ever, so if you would please slip into this hospital gown, get your feet into the stirrups while I shine and sharpen my abortion scissors.
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Amsterdam; and experience their red light district...
And then maybe to Japan, to see somethings that I bet are so culturally shocking to me I would wish I could un-see them. lol.
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| I went out on a date with a jew. He was actually really cute; I think everything went ok... I always seem like I am a bit awkward at the beginning of things. So whatever, he invited me back to his place and I accepted the invite. But I think I gave off the wrong signals or something, I dunno I didnt respond to any of his signals, such as subtly touching my leg and what not.
I guess I locked my self up. He didnt even get as much as a kiss out of me that night (also considering this is the first time we had met). I felt rather empowered because I didnt give anything away... but now I am thinking otherwise and I wish I could have gotten a little physical with him. I probably could have easily slept with him that night if I wanted to; I know he wanted to anyway.
SIGH~ ... I don't know what Im doing... now the dude has grown on me a bit and I have this slight urge to see him again, and perhaps this time things will lead to other things... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Here is a recipe for you...
* 1 part overrated social networking site (in this recipe we use facebook)
* 1 drunk asshole who happens to be my ex boyfriend
* 1 self loathing, quasi-obsessive ex girlfriend who was dumped for the most shallow & superficial reasons
If these ingredients are mixed together and the conditions are rite... the outcome is a very upset me.
My ex is a total alcoholic, and he also smears himself on facebook like shit on a windshield & IT DRIVES ME FUCKING INSANE. It sucks that I can't unsee things.
So basically, he gives us a glimpse at his evening in which he gets progressively more drunk, usually this being at a bar. And he will update his 'status' every two hours or so to say the dumbest shit I have ever seen, it makes me think to myself 'is he actually 29? or really just 19?'
For example, his status at this moment in time says 'Nate is drinking myself retarded' ... and if that isn't enough, usually all his status posts have SOMETHING to do with drinking or boose.
Anyway, so I see this shit and I can't help but get pissed. So I do, and I start to feel sorry for myself in the context that not even a drunk bastard wants me... and then I feel like I have to text him (just so I stay in the picture somehow) and then he ends up just pissing me off more and it turns into a very emotional mess for a little while.
And I can vouch for myself and say this is not a healthy breakup, I know that I obsess a bit, but its a total compulsion to feel like I have to do this all the time, and if i keep looking then it will just be prolonging the upset/jealous me.
Hmmmph!! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Look at this, I managed to get out of bed right at noon today instead of after noon!!! Thanks for the good workout last night Billy Blanks. sigh~ but now its I'm sure going to be a day of non-productivity.... i just want to play video games. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| hmmmmph...
My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. It devastated me; I could barely get out of bed for a week, and when I wake up in the morning (or late morning (because sometimes it is after noon)) its still really hard to pull myself out. And that is literally what I have to do, pull myself out.
You know what sucks, when people show up in my dreams, because my ex shows himself in my dreams on a nightly basis. Yes for me dreaming is like watching a video in fast forward, but as always my mind perceives and processes the dream then evokes all these emotions while I'm fucking sleeping!!!!
This is sometimes why its so tough when I wake up.
I hate him. | | comments: Leave a comment |
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raimi8mm
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